Putting A Mask On

putting a mask on

2008-11-05T19:31:00.003+08:00

have u ever try ignoring sumone but u actually wanna talk to the person?

have u ever try to control ur feelings in front of sumone b4?

have u ever try to be a crazy and happy person just to hide the sad feelings inside u?

have u ever try to forget all the wonderful things tt had happened to u?

have u ever cried ur hearts out bcoz u lost a very very wonderful friend and be a happy go lucky girl in front of her?

have u ever got treated like a stranger and act as though u do not care bout it?

have u ever cancelled sumthing u wanna do just to do sumthing special for ur frined of urs?

have u reminisce ur past and smile while thinking bout it and tell urself 'get a grip idiot move on'?

ah well these are few of the questions i wanna ask....the questions are based on sum of the prob my friends have and sum of them are mine....sum of us pretend tt we r fine in front of our friends but are we reli ok???i noe its kinda emo but tts how things reli are... for example..best friends do not talk to each other....friends treating each other like strangers...friends are ignoring each other... ppl wanting to be happy just bcoz he/she wanna forget the past..and sum others...

well this is for a friend of mine..M.....forgive ur best friend....the time u had with ur best friend were all precious...wad is done is done..u cant bring back the time u had with ur best friend...treat ur best friend the way u use to treat him...its ok if he treats u differently...coz in the end he will noe tt u still appreciate him and tt u still keep him close to ur heart...treasure all ur times u had with ur best friend coz after sch..in college..u mite not get a best friend as nice as him ...and u mite not get a person hu actually stayed back in sch just to teman u.... so wad if he goes to sch just to talk to 4 ppl??best friends are not the type of friends hu just goes in and out of ur life..they will remain with u no matter wad happens .... think bout it again M ..do not give up....i noe u will make a good choice...

well putting a mask on pratically shows tt ur not urself in front of sumone ...so to sum ppl out there...JUST BE URSELF and most likely things will be fine...haha ive started to accept things are nowadays...i think..

sorry this post kinda emo..but i just wanna type b4 spm starts...woohoooooooooo...

stung by a smalll bee

2008-11-05T19:24:00.002+08:00

arghhh this morning i got STUNG BY A SMALL BEE
lagi best it was on the floor and i didnt even see it
i mean after taking my vitamins i was walking towards my grandma's room then i suddenly stepped on sumthing i didnt even noe it was a bee till i shouted and looked at my leg...
coz it was like painful..eventhough it was a small bee...i can say its painful.....now only i believe my kakak and my mum coz they got stung by the small bee b4..hahha..and their leg BENGKAK...then at first it was only small scar like tt at the soul of my leg then in sch it was kinda itchy but i cant scratch it coz got stockings mah...then when i came home my toe and near my toe became bengkak....fuyohh...i nvr knew i was this goblok...i mean practically the bee was rite in front of me ,,,but i didnt see it..

In Church

2008-11-02T14:05:00.002+08:00

haizzz...in church yesterday was kinda eee lar...
coz its like i mean we went to landmark ...S,P,E,K and me lar...coz wanted to study mah..
but i went there i didnt study ..i was talking but got read also lar..not as much as em lar... talking to E...haha..E was telling me bout her probs ..then bla bla lar...kk...then i said sumthing to a guy..then after saying it rite...i felt damn stupid...seriously i felt damn stupid....ish ...dunoe y also...but i didnt do anything wrong but i felt damn stupid....haizz...then after everything like around 5.50 like tt we went back to church coz mass starts at 6pm...so we went to church then S and E wanted to go toilet...so we went and then by the time we went in the church it was PACKED...so all of us sat outside of the church...it was hot lar at first then in the end it was ok...coz got fan mah....oh ya it was packed coz it was all souls day mass its the day of obligation..then after tt i met 2 of the koko's i noe since i was 7..woohoo...im growing as tall as one of em edi....haha....

ah well...time passes by damn fast....i just want it to freeze for a yr....i noe its impossible ...if i can rewind time i would like to go back to my form 4 yr..it was my best school life eveeeerrrr..haha..with the bi stuff,with the library stuff, and all...but form 5 isnt tt bad... evethough its worse than form 4 ...i made new friends this yr..i get to noe sum ppl bttr and all like CL,CJ,ET and few others...it was nice getting to noe the GG...besides tt i could even how to say like disturb irsy more (when shes not in the bad mood)...woohoo...well..all this disturbing irsy will end in 5 days time ...and im not ready to face the fact tt im actually leaving sch very very soon..

In Sch..n IN OMEGA

2008-10-31T17:24:00.000+08:00

hhaha..today in sch..it was ok lar...
haha....nth much happened today butttttt one thing i must say..during rehat time my back was painfulll....this C lar walk a lot....go canteen then go bookshop then in the end go bilik guru... i rehat-ed with C and her friends coz i tot K and E didnt come...then when i was in front of bilik guru E came to me..i was happy lar...obviously coz i mean coz i can tell her my feelings and all..so yea....poor thing E actually ..always kena hear my prob..not actually prob lar..its actually my geramness story..but after a few days she will forget bout it...i think...

then in class...C keep sayin i envy envy...na li you i envy one ???i mean i wont get jealous just bcoz of hu write more in the autograph book...coz it will be lame if i get jealous over it..i only get jealous over one or 2 thing i guess...only a person noe it..(i think she shud noe lar ) haha..then tts all bout sch i guess...

IN OMEGA...
haha i reached omega 5 min b4 the class started..woohoo..i sat with CJ...hahaha.....the amount of time i said goblok hor i dunnoe how much..hahha..wellll...today last class for omega....haha..its already like i miss the class ....i mean i had fun this yr in class eventhough theres sum misunderstanding this yr but i still like this class...its fun to have a teacher like Mdm T..haha... we did revision as usual...then its like time past by damn fast...i mean...its like the bell rang to show tt class had started then after 2 hrs the bell rang to show tt the class had ended....teacher hugged all the gals and shook hands with all the guys...hhaa...CJ,me,P and V took pic with teacher..im suppose to bring camera but i didnt bring coz we can use our hp mah...then the guys brought their camera and took picture of em with teacher haha.....

then i went down the staircase thinking bout it i mean the class atmosphere..
then i waited for C soooo long downstairs u noe....i called her 3 times and i called her house ...i couldnt get her...then after 4.40 sumthing i called again then only she picked up....i was with E at tt time.....then C said shes srry and all coz her class finish late and all...then after tt we walked to kerris..today is the last time we both walk across to kerris coz after this no more omega mah.... haha...shes like R wont see the road properly one....haha..
well all those memories of me crossing the road..haizz..pathetic rite??cross road also got memories..of coz mah...for 2 yrs straight i cross road..but this yr i got teman with me to cross road ..first it was R then R dun wanna cross road with me anymore coz i think im too ma fan...then one day i saw C then from tt day onwards C and i cross the road together..hahha...its around june or july like tt...hahha...i think...cant rmbr coz my memory kinda bad..ah well.... its also an advantage crossing road with C ...u noe y??/coz i made friends with her mum....hahah..

today in sch R didnt do much to make me feel eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....maybe got maybe dun have ....got also i wont type here...haha i gotta face it LIFES LIKE THAT....its not a bed of roses coz theres always ups and downs...

A Reply to C...

2008-10-31T17:11:00.000+08:00

this one is for C..
C oh C....y lar u think soo much???
sch end only nxt week..then today(31st) u wrote in ur blog bout leaving sch and all....
relax and enjoy the moment u have in sch lar...k??
leave sch then doesnt mean 0.0001% we wont meet each other k...
but those hu r leaving for NS and tts me,E and sum of ur other friends, u only wont be seeing us for 3 mths nxt year....if we got letter to study sumwhere then ok lar..but no letter means we gotta go NS......

and the GG will surely miss u...
tt one for sure ler...
wads GG without their advisor??
hahha...so C dun think soo much..haha..
enjoy ur sch life while it lasts for nxt one week k..
coz after sch..college life will not be da same anymore..
the friends u get in college wouldnt be the same anymore ..
depends on u lar..haha..
so C do not THINK too much..

haizzzzz!!

2008-10-30T18:09:00.000+08:00

today i went to sch..lalala...not much ppl came (as usual) haha....in class i was looking at WT hp.. then i saw sumthing la....then it made me not nice..haha..coz sumone went to sumone house... then tt sumone told me she wont go to tt sumone's house...wadeva lar...i was kinda angry plus bs plus dunnoe wad...then i got kinda a bit argued with her ..only a bit...then after tt i kept quiet lar...i was like thinking hu m i to argue with her ar???its her wish mah..hahah..so after tt i went to my other friends place lar to cool down...HAHAH....so i sat there ....then C as usual bullied me...*sobz * *sobz* then i talked to em lar....then J and i were like talking bout J's bf....haha...i was kinda shock lar tt her bf is actually very sweet..coz after how many yrs knowing her bf rite i tot he was a bad boy ..i mean not as in bad bad boy as in not very sweet type of person lar.. hahha..sorry ya J......

then while talking rite J was like smiling all the way..i mean obviously lah if u talk bout sumone u love as in friends love or bf love u surely smile haha even if u sms or see their msges it will make ur day a good one ...hahah
hahha. ...then rehat time she continued her story then after rehat in class she continued again..then she was like "im smiling when i talk bout him" sumthing like tt lar...then i was like "ya u r"..hahha....then after tt our sc teacher came into the class...she gave us work...then bm time i went back to J's place coz S went and sat with her friends..i noe lar im damn boring but wadcan i do?S dun wanna say anything to me..wad m i suppose to say ar???haha ..at least if S talk to me bout sumthing i mite elaborate from there..like other ppl do tt is how they talk to me mah..or sumtimes i will say sumthing to em they will continue the conversation..but S i say anything she keeps her mouth closee..hahaha....

then in tuition time i was scared to go lar...scared i will hear sumthing tt will make me feel bs...haha so i was like talking to M..sumtimes i tell her my probs and then she will tell me her probs..hahha...then in tuition rite R was talking to A bout her deepavali day party lar...haha..i noe im mean but i actuallytold M to talk louder to me so tt i wont hear wadeva R say to A...but i can still hear sum la...haizzz...dun care lar...then i smsed my dad to come late a bit to fetch me from tuition ...M also smsed her mum to come late a bit...haha...so tt we can talk bout our lifes....damn jobless rite ???then we talk and talk...not bout happy stuff haha....but it made me feel a bit better ler...coz got lar...

oh ya then today got talk bout PLKN...arghhhhhhh!!!!NS.....im gonna find out where m i going to soonnnnn.....hope in johor ler...dun wanna go far away from johor....better be in johor than other states rite??/hahah....all my friends got it except for K,S,J,A,C and sumore lar..

hahha....i will explain my blog title "Putting a Mask On" nxt time..haha..

Deepavali!!!

2008-10-28T10:28:00.000+08:00

haha...deepavali..the festival of lights..
on sunday nite my dad celebrated deepavali lah..coz my sis would not be here on deepavali day..
so the open house thingy started around 6 sumthing...haha..i invited a few of my very good friends la...hahha...then rite...one of em' SRIY cant make it she told me in the evening ...dunnoe y lah...she say she dun wanna feel boring and all...i mean im there mah....then she say she mite go to her OTHER FRIEND house on monday evening ...haha...i kinda got a lot ** ****** ..hahha..damn lame lah me...after how many mths i still feel like tt...coz she say she mite go hers and shes not going to mine...i invited her and i begged her to come to my house since last week and the friend of hers only invited her on saturday nite and she say she mite go..i mean wth???...haha...nvm lah... i was like thinking let her be lah....but im still ** ****** lah...but i cant do anything mah..i cant argue with her coz hu m i to argue with her??im like no one.. hahhahaha.....ok ok i skip all the parts how i felt and everything coz i will go on and on ...and then i will be eeeeeeeee all over again..

haha so let me start after i sms SRIY..i went and picked up K and W from kerris...it was kinda embarassing lar bcoz i havent even taken my bath yet..i was in short pants and all....SWEATING...and then they are all so nicely dressed up..except me..so i went picked em' up at McD....then i brought em' back to my house and ppoooor them they sat on the sofa like strangers looking around the house..hahha...i felt bad la..coz they like i think they felt weird..im not sure lah..then they wanted to do henna also..hahha..so i called my sis to do henna for K and W.... they liked it haha ...tell u arr....while W was doing henna i took my bathe when i came out my little sis told me W keep on laughing while doing the henna ...weird....hha..then after tt..we went out and sat on the chairs....then C came..then we were talking bout dunnoe wad post lah..the GG....then all of us helped my aunties to sedia the plates....then at nite J,A,Ly came ..i mean i kinda forgot tt thye wil be coming...i noe i noe i've got short term memory...hahha..then they came they saw the henna on my hand they wanted to do...so now C,A,Ly and E went and ask my sis to do henna for em...haha..then K and C wanna see my room..i say cannot coz its like bloody messy...sumore my room damn small....then in the end i let them in..it was embarassing lar..but wadeva lah...time passes by i felt like abit like how to say ginrbo ..guess the word...then K went home with C then E went home we got even called SRIY and change our voices so tt she would not noe hu we are ..then J,A,Ly went home..then i felt a bit more free lar...so left W and P....W parents cant fetch her home coz her parents were in her aunt house playing...so P,W,My cousin brother(mum side) and me played cards...hahha...my cousin brother disturbed me..haizz...he nth to do i guess...then after tt....i called em to play firecrackers with me ...oh ya..b4 J,A,Ly went home they wanted ED to come ..but she couldnt coz she was in a party..then after tt only they went home...ok back again the story...so when we were playing pop pop (a type of cracker) ED came home..haha..so W,P and i went to her lah...then we talked to her...after tt we continued palying cracker till we were tired coz we were like running...tt W ran till 2-3 houses away....tsk tsk...P stayed on to teman W mah...haha...so we went into my room again coz W was tired she wanted to sleep...so i on the aircond again...P was playing with W's hp in the room...i was talking to W...then after tt P went home..my nieces M and M came into my room..hahaha...then M(the elder one) was dancing in front of the mirror hahha...W and i and also my little sis was laughing at her..coz it was reli funny ....

hhaha..then around 11 sumthing to 12 my cousin-in-law called us out to see firworks...so we went out lar..then at 12 am on deepavali day they light up the firework the one with 14 shoots all in one go will shoot up and burst into patterns with different colours....haha..it was nice...then W was nxt to me ..haha then after tt my cousing from s'pore need to go home...coz it was very very late edi mah..sumore she brought her in laws...haha..b4 they left they gave me angpows leh sum in dollars sumin Rm...then hahah W also received angpows from my fam...i think she received dollars if im not wrong...haha my dad and i was laughing at her when she rejected the angpows ....it was funny...but in the end she took it ...hhha...then around dunnoe wad time after 12.30am like tt i think she went home hahah...poor thing tt gal...she changed her shirt coz she was wearing long sleeve shirt ...haha..so wore my POZ shirt...so in the end after she went home...we packed up everything washed everything to get ready for monday coz on monday there were sumore visitors coming to eat hahaha...

then i sat down thinking wad if SRIY came???will she be bored??will she stay up with W till 12 sumthing and play crackers with us??coz K went home early with C..then if SRIY were to come will i ever feel a bit rngboi?haha i think i would not coz i can at least disturb her haha.. ah well...

????

2008-10-24T21:19:00.000+08:00

ah welll...
yesterday sumthing good happened haha..it was good lar..coz in the end both of my friends talked to each other A and B...eventhough im kinda a bit ** ****** i dun care lar....hahha...so i went tuition ...in tuition one of my friend ,A, she was like saying sumthing bout she winning and all to me....then i got to put on a smile if not she will think sumthing else..then she told me bout her and B gal smsing lar...ok tt one im not comfortable coz the way A said it its not the way i like... and then she said sumthing bout B wanted her to sign autograph for her lar,then B even told A hu she dont talk to lar.....omg ....then i was like thinking B used to be my _ _ _ _ I SMSES HER ALMOST EVERYDAY AND SHE DOESNT REPLY ME MSGES..but when A sms her she replies...haha how nice is it????????i noe its kinda weird to be like this but ish feeling like cekik-ing everyone..then now obviously lar i noe the reason y she doesnt reply me...hahha..ok ok ..when A was telling me alll this during tuition i put on a smile ....wad m i suppose to do?? tell her off???i mean i dun reli mind but i just dun like ppl talking bout B to me..TTS ALL..esp A ...everytime i go omega or bm tuition i damn scared..u noe y???scared she will tell me bout B... im damn shitting....i was kinda hurt lar..how would u feel if u sms tt person almost everyday but tt person do not reply u but she replies other friends?its reli goblok...haizz....

then 2day i came to sch..actually i like no mood come to sch at all...but since my FATHER do not let me ponteng sch...so i go lar...then i came to sch i told B i updated my blog..i told her coz i tot she wont go view mah...sekali pulak she said she read it alredi..i was like sooooooooo eeeee and i still felt sad ..when i saw her i was like o-k-a-y...act normal in front of her..i was like controlling my feelings lor...BUT PA TIME..I COULDNT EVEN DO THE QUESTIONS...haizzz...B was nxt to me ...but thank god she didnt realise it...hhaha...but ,C, in front of me realised tt iwas a bit more goblok today.......hahha..ah well...wadeva lar....i reli dun lke the itis..neways its not my business..so i cant say anything..i say anything to B she will ask me go sumwhere else.. haizzz...
better not tell lor...then its like...i mean eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee lah..very geram if i think bout it..so i wanna end this post here..dun wnna continue sumore..bye

K's B'dae

2008-10-23T20:10:00.001+08:00

hahaha..
yesterday was k's b'dae..
woohoo..
we went redbox and sang..
its my first time going there!!
hahhaha...welll.. it was ok.. i cant say i had lots of fun and i cant say i did not had fun..
but i was kinda hype up...coz its when i sang rite im like letting go all my worries and everything...haha..so its like i was like singing my lungs out..hahha...i danced though at the songs i like..hahah...
among my friends only me didnt give her a b'dae gift..
haha..so i made her a card lor...
hhaa..i sang mamma mia,i have a dream,nobody's home,colours of the wind,just the girl,damaged,beautiful girl,......and sumore lah..hahha..lazy to list it out....
the after an hour plus plus i need to go home coz e's mum need to fetch me home...so i went home feeling so light..hahha...when reach home..i was like happy and all...then in the evening OMG my head was like soo heavy..i felt sooo like lemah like tt haha..so i rested ....
then i got up and watch tv...hahha..then around 11 sumthing i went back to sleep...

AARGGHHH!!!!

2008-10-23T18:53:00.000+08:00

ahh well....
ok ok...i wanted to type my blog on the 21st but then no time..so let me start from the 21st.. hahha kk..it was bi b'dae...bi and i..i mean used to be best friends but now i dunnoe lah...hahha..ok ok nvm..on the 21st early in the morning as in 1 sumthing i got up and make a card for her....hahha...then slept around alomost 3 like...then I WOKE UP LATE FOR SCH!!!so i practically rush through...coz if im late...aunty em will be hooting her hon... so i got to sch... then in class bugger wei me...guess wad??i mean i noe bi's friends will buy her gift a coin box lah..i mean its a coin dog box..u get it??ok tt one ok...then they even bought her set of pendulum....damn nice ....then i b4 they gave her the present i wanted to give her the card i made...but then after i saw the pendulum..i was like omg...then i was like how m i gonna give the card i made??coz its like soo oppposite the card and the presents bi's friends bought for her.. coz its like the pendulum is like ex and then my card i didnt even pay for it coz its handmade mah... im like soo dumb coz i felt stupid...i mean wad got into my mind??then after hearing ma and min lecture i gave her in the end..hahha...
then on the 21st nite..i slept late again this time coz i was making for her a photo frame of me and her...haha..i gotta use a knife to cut the board leh..coz i do haave any blade at home..all of em with my sis coz the blade belongs to her...and shes in kl..so i used a knife...i damn bloody scared lor i mean soo hard to cut the board with a knife..hahha...then after using a knife i used a scissors...haha..my fingers all red red...haha...its my first time doing mah..coz usually i wont do all this for a friend ..i will just buy them a gift..hahha.....while doing the card i was like in my heart i was like "pls dun cut my finger pls dun cut my finger"...hahha..in the end i finish it ...i was like soooo happy coz nth happened to me..i noe i think too much but its the truth..hahha..so i went to sch and gave bi the frame...haha...she didnt even say anything bout it..she just took it..ah well wateva...i cant say anything...hahha..i just hope she liked it...as in reli reli reli liked it...hahha..

WAD DID I DO???

2008-10-08T19:01:00.000+08:00

today is our hari anugerah cemerlang ..i got a certificate...haha..nvm bout tt...
ok theres this one person ong ong ..ok ..i soooooo gerammmm....i mean its like she suddenly wont talk to me..whenever i ask sumthing she WONT EVEN ANSWER ME..wth???i mean i didnt even do anything...sumore its nt the first time leh....i mean she was my best friend...now i dunnoe lah..but...haizzz...today i beg her to teach me...she dun even care...she just do her work...then yesterday i wanted to see her paper coz i wanna see mah the corrections for me..then she made a sound n just threw the paper on the table..not very badly lah..but its still called as throwing..then whenever i ask the gal behind me she will turn and tell the answer...i mean wads the point telling the answer after begging her to teach me and then she refuse to teach me???so i kinda ignored her....then theres this one face she has when shes not happy....N I TRULY DO NOT LIKE IT...then yesterday she got angry at me...its like sooooo tooting obvious...when i ask her whether is she angry or not she said shes not...then her other friends ask or talk to her...she can answer them ..i mean its not fair leh...then she ask me to write in her book la...she ask me mah..first leh..but then i told her i write after all ur friends write then i say coz they are way important mah...i mean its true k...wadeva she does ..she goes to them...then wad m i ar???statue is it/??haizzz...i dun even noe whether should i talk to her or not talk to her...then she say im fan!!WAD???im not even fan... shes calls me tt...then tt day she say sumthing bout her marks..but then i didnt reply coz its like i dunnoe wad to reply....then she repeat it again....then i told her sumthing like y must i care if u dun care bout my marks or either me..not sure lah....then nowadays i go to nic nic coz i cant tahan mah....ong ong ignoring me and all ..so i go and tell nic nic my probs lor..then she advice me... then nic nic i became closer ...haizz....i reli wan ong ong to like at least think how i feel ...i mean to me shes like getting a bit more selfish..im sorry to say but..its true...only towards me lah...to other ppl no...tts for sure...i reli miss the times when i was with ong ong...haha..welll life goes on...
all i want is to make sure i dun make her angry for this one month...coz sch is gonnna end..but i failed..i made her angry ...so yea..

Hahah my first post

2008-10-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

hihi..
my first post ..
hhHahah....